E3 was a week ago, and it was a doozy! It was one of the most exciting in years, because both Sony and Microsoft showed off their next-gen offerings. Microsoft held their conference first, and spent the entire time repeatedly poking a stick into the eye of collective gamers.  At Sony’s conference, they just walked on stage and yelled, “HEY! WE’RE NOT MICROSOFT!” And Nintendo was like, we’re Nintendo, and we’re going to ignore y’all and keep doing our thing. We had a small tactical unit on the scene checking out all the games and taking notes. So without further ado, here are the 2013 SJ E3 Awards! 

Best Use of the Buddy System
One Piece: Pirate Warriors 2
Namco Bandai > PS3 

Being a huge One Piece fan, I was stoked when Namco Bandai announced they’d be releasing One Piece: Pirate Warriors 2 in the States. This sequel focuses on co-op and allows you to play through the whole game with a buddy locally or online. And if you’re stuck on a part, you can send a help request to a friend and have them come in and save your bacon. Now that’s a good use of the buddy system! Game also features: new story, new moves, 19 stages, more on-screen enemies and other upgrades. Look for a full hands-on write-up in the near future!

Urian Brown

One Piece: Pirate Warriors 2 © 2013 NAMCO BANDAI Games Inc.
Developed by TECMO KOEI GAMES CO., LTD.

Microsoft’s Smartest Move in the Past Couple Weeks
Killer Instinct Revival
Microsoft Studios > Xbox One

Out of an entire week filled with Microsoft bashing over their completely idiotic new policies regarding security and DRM, announcing Killer Instinct as an Xbox One exclusive is probably the one edge that this company desperately needs unless they make some serious changes. The game as it is right now is incredibly fast-paced, with a heavy emphasis on offense and mix-ups. In fact, this is probably the only fighting game where blocking is actually a bad idea in some situations, as doing so ends up giving your opponent more meter than if you just took a simple eight-hit combo. It’s looking great, but whether the negative reception to the Xbox One will affect it on release remains to be seen.

Michael Revis

Most Seizure-Inducing Conference
Electronic Arts

With a light display that doubles as a decent metaphor as to just how far out of touch EA is with the gamer population, the opening segment of their presentation really borders on excessive with massive flashing lights and heavy bass music trying to portray a feeling of the grandiose. Ultimately, it just feels more like they’re overcompensating for their lack of anything really creative outside of more sports games spam. Considering this is the company that has won the Golden Poo award two years running, this isn’t really surprising.

Michael Revis

Will the Real Square Enix Please Stand Up Award
Square Enix

A Final Fantasy X remake!? And it comes with Final Fantasy X-2? A Kingdom Hearts 3 announcement?! A Final Fantasy XV announcement?! For a next-gen system?! Who in the heck is running Square Enix these days? Whoever they are, I’d like to shake their hand, and then put a bunch of money in it. For a company famous for giving fans everything but what they want, it’s nice to see them finally start making people happy. I played the Final Fantasy X remake, and it looked really pretty. Like bumping into an old flame that you haven’t seen in years and now looks better than you remember. Not sure how often that happens, but nice-looking game!

Urian Brown 

The Sign That Your Hardware May Not Be Good Enough Award
PS4 Assassin’s Creed 4 Demo Freezes

While Assassin’s Creed 4 does look cool in its own right, the “live” demo of the game (I use “live” because these days it’s hard to tell what really is live and what’s prerecorded these days) presented more than a few hitches in the optimization aspect of the game, showing that it might actually be too much for even next-gen consoles to run. At least it caught up when the naval battle segment started up, but this could very much be a symptom of Ubisoft exploiting the AC franchise and trying to throw titles out too soon. 

by Michael Revis

Best Graphics
Dark Sorcerer Tech Demo

Okay, so this technically wasn't a game. It's a tech demo created to show off the power of the PS4 and boy was it impressive. A group of us were shepherded into a small room where we watched a comedic 12-minute movie involving a clueless sorcerer and a green goblin. Pretty funny stuff with some decent CG... Wait, this isn't CG but in-engine footage?! The host could zoom in and rotate the camera and show how amazingly intricate the character models were. If they can get such amazing details six months before release, imagine what they’ll have in store for us in the future! 

Alexis Kirsch

Game Most Likely to Induce Beavis & Butthead Laughter
Dragon’s Crown
Atlus > PS3, Vita 

When playing this game, it’s hard not hear “Uh huh huh huh…uh huh huh…. Yeah! Yeah! Fire! Fire!” in your head due to the grossly (or comically, depending on your tastes) over-exaggerated anatomy of some of the female characters. Even if you’ve read a lot of manga or watched a lot of anime, there’s still a good chance you’ll be boggled. In any case, Dragon’s Crown is a beautiful side-scrolling hack-n-slash four-player affair created by the fine folks at Vanillaware, which I guess is ironic, because this game is anything but vanilla. 

Urian Brown

Closest Real-Life Gundam Experience
Standing Near the Huge Titanfall Robot

I’ve been a fan of giant robots since I first laid eyes on them. I mean, is there anything not to like about a huge mechanical machine programmed to blow stuff up real good? Hecks, no! And Gundam is my favorite of all giant robot shows. But since it’s not real, and I’ll prolly never get to go to Japan to stand by their 1:1 scale Gundam statue, the towering Titanfall robot at E3 will have to do. This game has a lot of buzz and comes from the same dynamic duo that unleashed Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 upon the world. If only a Gundam game looked this good! C’mon, Japan!

Urian Brown

Best Pimp Slap
Sony vs Microsoft

It’s a common advertising tactic to try and talk down the competition as much as possible without flat-out lying, but at the end of Sony’s presentation, the announcement that the PS4 would not infringe on your personal privacy nor have any online DRM restrictions that prevent used games from being played was clearly aimed at their most prominent competitor. The result was a glorious, thundering applause from the entire building and the creation of a new Internet meme in less than a day. Hell, even Nintendo is getting a few indirect licks in at Microsoft’s expense after years of neutrality.

Michael Revis

Best Ducking Remake Ever!
DuckTales: Remastered
Capcom > Wii U, Xbox 360, PS3 

I spent a good chunk of my time at E3 getting ducky with the DuckTales: Remastered. Now, I’m not one to run out and buy every remake, mainly because in the past I’ve been burned by remakes of games I loved that didn’t hold up to my memories of them. However, this game came out so long ago that my memory’s fuzzier than, well, a duck’s tail.  And the game’s gotten an incredible graphic upgrade. In fact, it looks so good, I was looking at the character models and they looked exactly like the cartoon. Probably even better. My only complaint—I was playing it right by the karaoke booth where they were blasting the song and it’s been stuck in my head ever since. I randomly start singing it at least once a day. Life is like a hurricane…here in Duckburg…Race cars, lasers, aeroplanes…it’s a duck blur…help me.

Urian Brown 

Best Racing Game
Mario Kart 8
Nintendo > Wii U 

Other people might favor the more realistic drive-simulator games, but I’m all about the karting! I haven't owned a portable system since the original Gameboy, so I’ve missed out on the recent entries to this series. Mario Kart 8 brings back the old magic with some impressive graphics. The courses seem much more 3D and allow you to drive on walls and the ceiling. There are also opportunities to race underwater and in the air. My favorite character since the SNES days is Koopa Troopa and I look forward to crushing all my rivals when this game hits in early 2014!

Alexis Kirsch

The Easiest Hardest Game You’ll Ever Play
Divekick

For a simple two button fighting game parody where the object is to land your foot on the opponent’s face, Divekick has a ridiculous amount of depth and an entire metagame centered on outsmarting your opponent. Every character having their own unique properties amplifies the complexity; while a character like Stream can fly and change his kick trajectory. The Baz doesn’t kick at all, but instead summons lightning bolts, which can be aimed and have a slight delay before appearing. The game is working towards being greenlight onto Steam at the moment for a PC release, but the developers are also looking into alternatives if that plan doesn’t follow through.

Michael Revis

That's it for Part 1 of the SJ E3 Awards! We'll post the second half tomorrow, including our picks for Best in Show!